Donkey = Ass

January 6, 2008 | 02:52PM  | maudie dot b - gmail d c | |

So... I have this car with "keyless" entry which means I can unlock, lock and start the car without ever taking the key from my bag, pocket or wherever I stash it. I discovered a downside to that today.

I'd pulled into my local Borders, and as I was parking, closing up the moon-roof (the last two days have been in the 60s compared to the low 30s of the previous week) and getting out of the car, I was distracted by another car that had pulled in. I was perplexed by the odd sound of my door lock beep which wasn't the usual "beep-beep," more of a"buh-buh-buh-beep". I thought maybe my beep and the other car's beep beeped coincidentally. I double checked to be sure I was locked up, only mildly perplexed to the lack of a beep that time.

Never-the-less, I was locked up and strolled across the lot to the store. I was in pursuit of a good reference book for XHTML. Having spent the whole of Saturday immersed in the mysteries of Document Object Models, I was eager to take a spin around the learning curve of XHTML (I know, you are all so jealous of my rockin' life style...just deal).

Half an hour or so later, I departed the store. No luck in the XHTML department, but I did purchase a kick-ass tome titled Transcending CSS. I unlocked the car, again curious as to why the beep wasn't happening. After fastening my seatbelt, I discovered what the deal was with the funky beeps thirty minutes earlier.

My car was still running. Yup. My car sat in the parking lot for one half of an hour, or so, idling away. The beeps I'd heard, apparently, are my car's way of sayin "Hey dumbass - the car's still on" when you attempt to lock up and walk away with the key. Note to Nissan - replace the beeps with a loud recording of "Hey dumbass - the car's still on!"

Poker and I have reached a stage of polite tolerance. Over the New Year's weekend I played a few sit-n-gos in an attempt to find the "click," to get back into the rhythm of winning. I wasn't as successful as I would have liked, but I did manage to get into the money on a couple of low buy-ins. A dry taste of humble pie for a person who prides herself on a fairly impressive record for SnG money finishes.

I rang in the New Year during the fourth hour of a near free-roll. I entered on a whim and wasted five hours I can never get back. The prize of a seat in a Poker After Dark satellite went to the final table finishers. There were over two thousand entrants with a good number of them not logged on. I got as far as I did primarily because for a quarter of the tournament there were only three players present at my table.

I experienced first hand what role the combination of luck, good cards and skill plays in getting deep in these monster tourneys. There were more than a few times I should have been busted that lucky suck outs saved my buttocks. Good cards came my way in a timely manner and my hands held up. I timed my steals in order to chip up - a Raymer-esque marquee of "get chips, get chips, get chips" scrolling across the back of my mind.

I busted out at the tail end of the fifth hour in fifteenth place and got squat for my efforts. I suppose I could chalk it up to a time of learning. Naw. It'll be a long time before the planets align in just that way again and I get deep in a monster tourney. If I learned anything it's to pick a tourney that has a better payout structure.

And to turn off the car before exiting.