After three visits, I'd come to expect it. This fourth visit was no different, I knew what was coming but had underestimated the intensity with which it would hit. I'd neglected to factor in the second leg of my trip which took an emotional toll I hope I don't have to pay again for a long while.
Post Vegas Depression. PVD.
I'm at a loss as to why it happens. Within 24 hours of reaching home, I'm in a deep well of self-loathing and wondering why I should continue on doing what I do. It usually lasts a few short days and then it ebbs as reliably as the tides.
This time, however, it's been harder to shake. Closing up the family home was the most difficult thing I've had to endure since my mother died a few years ago. I didn't expect it to effect me as deeply as it has.
I know I'll work through this, though - I always do. I'm a firm believer of going with it when it happens. I don't fight it, I just ride it out. But, laughingly, I'm wondering how much longer the flood of tears will flow and what little thing will flip the faucet on next time. Do you have any idea how incredibly sad it is when you can't get the screws out of that stupid little plastic package??
Fortunately, I have a few close friends out there who listen to my wails and understand where I am - they've been through it before, as I have with them. That's what makes you the friends you are. Ah, damn, here it comes again....
Anyway. I just had to get that out. Maudie'll be back to full steam before you know it.
