I hesitate to post this because we all know what happens when we discuss our good streaks in these electronic vanity pages. But I'm going to risk it.
I'm not sure if my tournament play has really turned a corner or not, but it's at least been very different of late - and in a way that's been good for the bankroll.
I approached Pauly's tourney from an attitude of "take more risks." It's kind of what I was talking about in this post months ago regarding my growth as an actor. Only by taking risks in my acting could I find out what it meant to take risks. And I wish I could put the words together that could explain the process, but all I can come up with is - fear vs. trust.
As an actor, I had to open up to the moment, to trust my instincts and abilities, not be afraid to fail. What the hell does that have to do with poker? I haven't been trusting my abilities, for one. Fear of failure causes me to insta-fold when I'm in a questionable hand against aggressiveness. Fear of the risk causes me to pass on steal opportunities. Fear keeps me from taking the time to evaluate the information I have - to break it down and decide what to do accordingly. Consequently, I play too scared. Doh.
So, for the tourney today, I made it a sort of exercise in risk taking. I played position a lot more than I have before. I put more faith in my reads and made risky calls. It kept me alive early on where I probably would have folded my way out of the tourney otherwise. If I wasn't going to be given good cards, then I needed to play the cards I got. Or ignore them, and play my opponents cards, instead.
I hopped on the roller coaster and took the ride. I got very lucky on some hands which helped to propel me to the top of the ladder for a while. I also made some incredibly bad calls, which hurt my lead toward the end. And I choked at the final table - there were at least two pots which were mine for the taking, I believe, but the fear returned and I didn't want to risk it.
I'm not quite there yet, obviously. But I learned a lot today by trying this exercise. A review of the hands will tell my how much good poker vs. lucky poker I played. I needed to push the line, though, so I could know what that felt like - right or wrong.
I got to be at the top for quite a while before those bad calls cut me at the knees. I crawled back up and slid into the final table. Notice who won. CJ is hotter than hot right now.
I'm having such a good time with these tourneys. It adds so much to play with people you're familiar with - the conversation is a blast, at the very least. The level of competition is challenging and, while it's preferable to play with those who are less skillful, I welcome the challenge. It's making me a better player. I hope.
