I got somethin' in my heart, I been waitin' to give
I got a life I wanna start, one I been waitin' to live
No more waitin....' — B. Springsteen
I don't know why some decisions have to be such bears to make. Hell, for me any decision is a bear to make. It's so much easier if someone else, or circumstance can make the decisions for you. That way you can side-step all responsibility and put the blame elsewhere if it turns out to be a bad decision. No?
Prior to the Vegas trip last December I experienced all shades of indecision, consternation and anxiety trying to decide to go or not. I polled friends, put out feelers on the blog - I needed a boat-load of reassurance before finally deciding I would go... and even still, I stepped into that adventure full of doubt and insecurities. As we all know now, I needn't have had doubt - I stepped into a group hug of fantastic people and had a great time.
I'm not good at spontaneity, though - I much prefer someone else do the deciding for I have to weigh every side and nitpick 'til the scalp is bald, even for the simplest of decisions..... even resorting to game theory at times to help the process along.... SO —
This eve, I had a brief chat with my favorite live, local, late breaking, blogging heart-throb G-Rob (how cute, I rhymed) and the chat turned to something I was considering - nothing huge or life changing but, nonetheless, was something I was doubtful was going to be possible. After chatting for a bit, I first put it away as a not possible. And then I started thinking about it. And then I thought, well let's see what information Google might give me, so I hopped on to pursue said information, thinking it would support my Not Possible scenario. It didn't..... SO —
I continued to play my 3/6 game on Party (doubling up my buy-in, thank you for asking) and thought about it some more. What to do? Do it? Don't do it? G-Rob had moved on back to the the domestic real world by this time so I looked to see who was still "up" on the chat boxes, started to IM someone to discuss this and stopped - I was going to look for more assurance or for someone else to make the decision for me and I thought, "No, you're either going to do it or not. Decide. On your own."
I reviewed the information the interwebnet thingamabob had given me and then clicked back to my table. And there it was. Card one. Card two. My Magic Eight Ball. I wasn't going to have to make this decision by myself after all.
The hammer.
The hammer was going to do it for me.
I said, "If I take this pot with the hammer. I'm doing it. If I don't get the pot, I'm not." It was folded to me and I raised. Pause. Bam, bam, bam. The rest of the table folded..
I took the pot with the hammer at a 3/6 limit table on Party.
Decicion made. I'm doing it. ......G-Rob - mum's the word, pleeze..
