Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got 'til it's
gone,
They paved Paradise and put up a parking lot. —Joni Mitchell
Part I
Okay. So it went down like this. I'd arisen early to partake in the $5 mega-multi at Party. I bided my time until the tourney at $25 NL table and managed to add added a few dollars to my bankroll. The mega-multi had 1,182 entrants on this fine, sunny Sunday morning. I managed to squeak my way to the first break with an average stack, which wasn't easy considering the play was looser than a goose after imbibing a bottle of milk-of-magnesia. But, after the break, it wasn't much longer before I was gone at #491.
I then checked my e-mail before heading to do some chores and those things I hate to do. I'm the only adult in the house, so I have to be my own disciplinarian at times. "No poker until you clean your room!" But, in my e-mail I had received a missive from Paradise Poker which was touting a promotion for a WPT entry event. I decided to check it out. Now I hadn't been to Paradise in months and had to download the software again. When I logged in, I checked with the cashier and, lo and behold, there it was - fifty. Fifty beckoning me away from my chores and into the smoke filled poker rooms of Paradise. Well, I flicked that goody-two-shoes of a conscience off my shoulder and went looking for a seat.
I found one at a 5-10 table, I was feeling randy and ready to gamble. I sat down. These folks didn't know what they were in for and, frankly, neither did I. Who was I to sit at a 5-10 table with only 50 sitting in front of me? Mad Maudie, that's who. I started slow, observing my unsuspecting opponents. This was a loose table, ripe and ready to be harvested. The cards cooperated with me and in short time I doubled, nay, I more than tripled my buy-in to just short of two big ones.
I left that table behind and went in search of juicier morsels. I landed at no-limit table, sat down, and hungrily eyed the unsuspecting minnows blithely tossing their green into the middle of the table. And then my moment came, AA floated down and landed gently in front of me. I joined the fray with a healthy bet. This barrel of fish would be easy targets for my superior skill. The flop came 6-7-8 all clubs. I was first to act, and with one of my bullets matching the flavor of the day, I pushed all-in — one-eighty-seven, and smiled to myself. Three called. Turn - 10. The smile left my lips. I needed a club, for surely there was a nine in at least one of those hands still in the pot. A few more bets into the side-pot, and the river came a blank. More bets to the side pot. And cards were turned over. It was a race - all three of the opponents still in the pot had nines and one got it with a 9-J. My bullets had missed their target and I saw my green slide to the winner. One-eighty-seven, my entire Paradise bankroll gone. One-eighty seven. $1.87. Mad Maudie should have done the laundry instead.
Part II
Okay. So I enter the Paradise Poker free-roll qualifying satellite for a seat in one of 5 tourneys with prize pool of 5 seats to the WPT Legends tournament in California at the end of August. Maximum number of entrants allowed is 4,000 in the free-rolls. The blind structure is a killer, designed to cut the wheat from the chaff in short order. The first 6 levels went from 10/20 - 100/200 with the blinds going up every 10 minutes. After the break, they started at 200/400 with a 25 Ante which increased to 50 at the next level up. On the plus side, you get 1500 chips to start out. Pay-outs start at 200. 200 players will get a seat in the WPT Legends satellite - there will be 5 of these.
Level One - t1500: Uneventful. I played one hand - A-9 - and split the pot.
Level Two - t1535: I witnessed KK take out AK. Paradise has a rather sadistic way of removing you from the table after you lose - you blow up in a puff of smoke. I played 2 hands in this level A-3 and A-4. Both times the board gave me trip aces and my raises went uncontested.
Level Three - t1910: My stack was around average at this point. Had dogs for cards, folded the level away.
Level Four - t1910: Add a little to the stack after seeing the flop with Q-T. Flop was T-8-8. I pushed all-in and received no callers, just the pot. Added some more when I re-raised all-in with my K-T when 2 blanks and a K hit the flop. I knew the raiser was weak and on a draw, so I made it expensive for him. He folded. I lost a little with A-4 against A-9 - flop was J-5-9 and his paired nine got him the goods.
Level Five - t2060: I got QQ in the pocket (what I will fondly call Katy & Melba rather than the Hilton Sisters - sorry Pauly, but they are just rich sluts and I don't approve of them, so there. Katy & Melba are my lovely kitties; female cats are called 'queens' ergo, pocket QQ = Katy & Melba ...). I had two callers and with an A landing in the flop, I figured it was over for me. I prepared to be blown up. Three fours also appeared and, lo and behold, I split the pot with another pair of QQ with fours full of queens! That was a first for me.
Level Six - t2902: The blinds are now at 100/200 - some serious change now. I raised pre-flop with KT and ultimately lost the hand to trip twos. Fortunately, I didn't lose much. I folded the rest of the level with dog after dog hand appearing before me.
We had now reached the first break. There were about 1280 people left in the tourney and I ranked at around 880. Not good, but not horrible. After the break the ante kicked in. Blinds were now at 200/400.
Level Seven - t2202: This was a lively level. After folding my J-7 in the BB, I was looking at A-6 in the SB and considering playing it as, one by one, the table folded around. But the guy to my right pushed all-in for a steal and I had to let him take it. I couldn't justify a call. I called t400 with a Q-J, but an ace hit the flop. I folded, which was the right decision as an A-2 took the pot down. At t1369, I called all-in with A-5 suited. (OK ...you are probably wondering why I could call an all-in with A-5 here, but I couldn't call an all-in with an A-6 earlier .. well .. they were suited, what can I say?) Another called as well, which put three of us all-in. I figured I was done as the board played out with T-Q-8-T-Q. Someone at least had to have a queen or a ten. Nope. The pot was split three way with all of us holding an Ace for 2 pair with an ace kicker. Wild.
Then my big one hit. On the button with A-9 I pushed all-in with only two limps from huge stacks in front of me. I wanted to take the pot right there, but figured if I got called by either of the limpers, I probably had the best of it up front. If either had a legitimate hand, they would have raised pre-flop and put some pressure on the rest of us. I got called by both of them. The board presented A-8-7-7-7. At worst, one of them had the case 7, at second worst it was a split, at best it was mine and I'd triple up. I'm pleased to report it was the latter.
I was now at t3782 and ranked at #586 out of 944 remaining. The level wasn't over, yet. The flop missed my AK a couple of hands later. I was up against a monster stack and had a paring knife to wield against his Excalibur of a stack. I dipped to t2857.
Level eight - t2857: I started the level ranked at #625/847. Blinds were at 300/600 with a 50 ante (500 per orbit). I got a cool 1400 in the BB with A-7 without blinking an eye. The table folded to me. After that, I stayed out of the way as the big stacks began bullying the table with frequent all-ins. More dogs kept me from playing back.
Level nine - t2857: Somehow, I got to this level with the same amount as eight. At least that's what my notes say. I could not get a foothold in this level. The big stacks were in high gear with their bullying and I was landing winners like 4-6 and 8-4. Finally, on the button, I see K-Q suited. I am preparing to push it as it comes around to me. I don't recall the details, but the person in front of me pushed all-in. I ended hitting the time bank to think about this. The only thing that came to my blank of a mind was that he had to have an Ace. With time running out, and being accused of slow-playing to make the 200 (haruumphh) I folded. The board came A-7-5-T-T. Sure enough, he had and ace and took it with 2 pair.
I was then whisked to another table - I was down to t1307 ranked at #458/486 and knew this round was do or die because I'd be in a life support and in a coma after the blinds were through with me. The blinds were bearing down on me and I was dealt K-9. This was it. I pushed all in. The world shifted into slow motion as, one by one, the table folded. I survived one huge stack, two huge stacks, then the third huge stack ...called. The cards came flop, turn, river. He landed a strait to my pair of nines. What did he call with? 7-9 suited.
I ended the tourney at #455. Out of 4,000, I'd say not bad, Maudie. Not bad at all. These tourneys are tough to play because in the early rounds it's such a crap shoot with many multi-way pots and people playing just about anything. I played as tight as I could with an eye towards opportunity. I never really had any strength to play with - the strongest hands I had were the QQ and the AK which kept me from taking calculated risks. I became very envious of the huge stacks - I so wanted to know what that felt like to have 20k sitting in front of me!
So, even though I virtually folded my way to #455, I gained some valuable information regarding playing these mega-tourneys. There's 4 more this week and I shall give it another try or two, if time allows.
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Side note: Apropos of nothing, and certainly not poker, I just got a call from an acquaintance who's casting extras for "a major motion picture" to be filmed in our great state and asked me to come audition for a short scene in it. I'll keep you posted!
