There is no god higher than Truth....
— Mahatma Ghandi
OK. I want to adopt you all!! I'm the grown-up here and am usually the one lifting the spirits and supporting the 'yutes' I work with on a daily basis, and here the 'yutes' are lifting this gal out of the doldrums and giving their support (if you're 15 or more years younger 'n me - your a 'yute' in my book - and I mean that in a good way). My 'in the flesh' friends also played their part - I am extremely grateful for the dear friends I have and am tickled to death to be adding new 'electronic' pals to the circle. I took a risk in publishing my 'torment' - but one of the reasons for this blog was to exercise my writing muscles, and part of being a good writer (as well as being a good actor) is to be able to expose your vulnerabilities. So I threw it up here for the world to see and had no idea it'd get the response it has. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
I came to terms with my 'demons' years ago, but recognized that they will, from time to time, rear their ugly little heads and nip away at me. I found that the best way for me to deal with it is to allow myself a full-blown, self-indulgent wallow and then to...well, Pauly said it best — "Suck it up and get back in the fight!" I use the time to identify the trigger and to acknowledge the truth at the root. It's a 'deep' process, but it works for me. I am a firm believer in the power of the positive and I always come out of it fiercely positive and much better for it. You all helped to seal the deal.
Now...back to poker and Sunday's $5 mega-tourney. There were two hands of note I'd like to mention. One generated a spate of comments from the guy I busted, the folks at the table and those sweating me on the rail. I had a healthy stack and a guy in early position pushed in pre-flop. The rest of the table folded to me. I think I was either on the button or in the small blind - I don't recall. I had Q-J diamonds and it was about t-435 for me to call, I think - at any rate, it didn't amount to a huge bite were I to call. The time nearly ran out while I contemplated this. I knew he didn't have a pair, I put him on two big cards, if not A-K. I knew if I called I would be behind, but it wasn't that much more for me to call. I'd witnessed some weak pushes from the table thus far, my pockets were suited, it wasn't a big bite from the stack to call and, heck, I had a hunch. With seconds to spare, I hit the call button. Sure enough, he had AK. The cards came out and I got lucky making the flush and sending him on his way. What follows is the 'conversation' which ensued:
Maudie_B wins 1640 chips from the main pot with a flush, ace high.
badblood44: n1
Pauly: AWESOME CALLL!!!
corkydeb: nice
gypsy113: r u kidding
ajpjnebi: nh
gypsy113: that was luck
BobbyD521: yeah that was a horrible call
BobbyD521: what the hell are you talking about
gypsy113: i had two over cards
BobbyD521: but thats poker
Pauly: coin flip, pal
BobbyD521: no good call with AK
Pauly: AKo is a crappy hand
badblood44: her stack can handle it easily
gypsy113: bull sh-t; the odds were about 3 to 1
BobbyD521: coin flip? check your stat card again
Pauly: ok thanks phil hellmuth
BobbyD521: no prob
BobbyD521: just saying
gypsy113: AK to Qj IS A COIN FLIP; CHECK YOUR CARD DUMB ASS
Pauly: ill take math advice from anyone who cant spell springfield
badblood44: but they were soooted
BobbyD521: ?
BobbyD521: who cant spell?
badblood44: many peeple
BobbyD521: true
BobbyD521: haha
ajpjnebi: good call, bad call, she won, that's all that matters
Pauly: yes
Maudie_B: Sometimes you just have to gamble ....
BobbyD521: yep
badblood44: perhaps the $6 entry represented a super value meal to him that he can't do without today.
BobbyD521: good one
I got incredibly lucky on that flop. In actuality, he was about 70% favored against my cards going into the hand pre-flop. I hadn't figured that out at the time - I'm a math dunce. I ran it through the odds calculator at Card Player. But my hunch paid off and the karmic juices were flowing my way on that one. Side-note: if you are at a table with me and I'm first to push all-in preflop, you can bet even money I won't be holding two over cards - unless I'm on life support or bullying the table with a monster stack at the final table. I just don't think that's wise - in average chip position, I want to see a flop first with A-K...BUT, that said, I would most likely call an all-in with it...........
The second hand of note was when my stack had dwindled and I was needing to gain some chips. I had A-2 suited and called a raise from the guy on my right. The flop was J-and two blanks. He bet out and I knew he'd hit the Jack. I only had two choices - raise or fold. I couldn't call and I didn't want to fold because my pre-flop call, mistake as it was, had drained me of more valuable chips. I had to rectify the situation, if I could, and so I raised on a bluff. He thought for a very long time. If he re-raised me, I would have to fold. I was moving my mouse in position in preparation to hit the fold button when he folded and the pot slid across the table to me. I was perplexed, but pleased. He typed in the chat box "I folded A-J there for you." I didn't say a word. I don't know if he was telling the truth, entirely, but he at least folded a pair of Jacks, that's for sure. The bluff worked and bought me a little more time. Karmic juices.
